What Good Is Different If Difference Isn’t Wanted?

Regardless of what may be true or false, this post is a rant on the human psyche and the human soul. None of these assertions or ideas are legitimate, logical, or even sane. Don’t take anything I say seriously.

I’ve recently gone through a breakup. I’m single again, and I’m not really all that fond of being totally and completely alone. Maybe you don’t know, or maybe you do, but I’m not part of what the world considers socially acceptable. I’m gay. To be single and gay in a conservative, republican, baptist county is to be utterly alone. Sure, I have a few gay friends, but I don’t see any of them nearly enough to count myself as not alone. I’m not intimately acquainted with any of them, and it gets to me sometimes. I’ll walk the aisles of my job and see people together and happy, and it makes me wonder if I’d be happier if I conformed to society.

I don’t really want to. I like being different. I like being me. I’m just not sure how to go about being me when it doesn’t feel like who I am is appreciated or desired. Like the title of the post says, what good is different, really, if difference isn’t really desired? Here in America, we advertise ourselves as the proponents of being different. We’re the melting pot, we say, and we have come from many to become one. Yet, in all reality, we are so different. We do not force segregation, but we still do segregate on our own. We form special interest clubs around race, orientation, class, et cetera. We want to be diverse, and yet with every waking moment we drift away from that ideal with our actions. If a black man acts with class and dignity, we classify them as white. If a gay man doesn’t always flame with feminine acts and have the stereotypical professions, he’s doubted. It’s sad.

I think the answer to my title question is simple: Difference is good because it sets us apart. Most people who fear diversity, who are ignorant of the world, tend to gravitate to people like them. The people who are different, however, tend to appreciate the differences between themselves and gravitate to those who are different. While I may be lonely now, I might just find myself a few friends who value me for who I am, rather than who they want me to be. That, in my opinion, is what good being different is.

Dionysian Spirit (or, How I Got My Groove Back)

I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. It seems that no matter what I seem to do and no matter where I seem to go, I’ve been feeling down, depressed, and unwilling to do a single thing except what I absolutely must. Well, I gave some thought to the whole issue of Dionysus and the God of Wine, and I feel that his essence is the key to “getting my groove back.”

Dionysus is, simply, the god of frivolity. He is the god of wine, of parties, and of fun and games. He is the joker, the nutcase, the total nut that you love to invite to parties because of his entertainment value. It is in his spirit that my groove lies. See, I don’t think that Dionysus would much care for the social restrictions placed upon us by our parents and our civilizations. I think that he cares for what solution is simplest. In this case, it is throwing away what is stopping me from being who I want to be for Jeff, for myself, and for others.

In everything, Dionysus has his influence, and certainly, one can take his essence too far. His simplistic attitude towards life does not adequately handle dealing with society rather than outside of it, and therefore another one of the god’s essences would have to handle my professional and scholastic lives.

My groove, however, resides solely with Dionysus. I can’t groove with Zeus, Chronos, Athena, Aries, Aphrodite, or any of the other gods. Only Dionysus has that groove and that unending philosophy of hedonism that can temper the spirit of the human soul. With his traits, I feel as though I can truly turn the table, mount the record, and start playing.